Ready for the Next Chapter, or Are You In Denial?

Are you in denial over the next chapter of caring for someone you love? Or are you ready? One of the things we hear a lot is, mom and dad are just fine. They're getting older, but they still do this or that. But the fact is, oftentimes, families are in denial and maybe they're not fine. Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements joins Suzanne on the Answers for Elders Podcast for a six-part series on whether you're in denial, and about having difficult conversations.

Daphne says, "I'm going to say in 2025, currently I'm seeing a lot of skepticism, a lot of fear, a lot of lack of trust, a lot of what ifs, and that it's becoming okay to to maintain the status quo. Even though there may be people quietly suffering, overtly suffering, things can start sneaking up on you... I have never seen so much inaction. That causes a ripple effect of suffering. And so what I mean by that is, it's easier to go along with what whatever mom or dad says, whatever the aunt or uncle says, whatever your wife or husband says, it's just easier to go with. They said they were fine, So they're fine. Rather than doing any investigation or listening to your gut or stepping outside of yourself, knowing this is going to take time, energy is going to interrupt your pattern of life. But in the in the long run, you will have this relationship that hopefully to their last breath will be meaningful and beautiful."

Regarding how to start tough conversations, Daphne says, "This is how I do it personally and professionally. And that's to name the thing that you're most afraid of. Just name it. It will lose power. Dad, I know this is going to be a hard conversation. I want you to hear my heart, not just my words. I know this is not a conversation that that we're wanting to have, but trust me that it's one that's going to be good. Name what you're afraid of. Yeah, I know you want to keep doing your laundry, but going up and down the stairs to get to the basement, to the washer is making me so afraid of the consequences if you have an accident. And here comes the end. The defensiveness. 'I'm fine. I haven't. I haven't fallen down the stairs yet. I'm not going to.' I know you're not planning to, but, Mom, you're in your eighth decade of life and your body is not the same. It's not going to bounce back like when you were 40. Mm. All those things they rest in logic. They do rest in the what ifs, and a lot of people don't want to live in the what ifs."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

To final a referral agent in your area, visit the National Placement & Referral Alliance website search.