Episode 1273

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Published on:

8th Jun 2024

Ways Families Can Support Struggling Seniors

Daphne Davis of Pinnacle Senior Placements joins Suzanne to offer tips for dealing with complex family dynamics of helping a struggling senior loved one. Be the son and daughter, don't try to parent your parent.

Daphne says, "My first golden tip would be: if anyone has an opinion, or wants to be a part of a process, or will have a thought about what should happen with mom and dad, they need to be involved in gathering the information from the very beginning. Everyone needs to hear the conversations, everyone needs to get the printed matter. Even if they say 'I trust you, you take care of it,' because inevitably we're curious people, we're gonna ask a question and the person who's at the front line is gonna go, 'I've done all this work already. I've narrowed it to these things. You said you trusted me.'

"Those conversations need to be collective. I encourage people to have a third party. If you have a situation where someone lives out of town — or the relationships between child and parent are strained, or very different, or there's 19 years between the oldest and the youngest siblings, there's gonna be different perspectives — have these conversations together. 

"The other thing that I would really suggest is having it agreed upon by all people involved that we are going to stick to the following highest values, which means you go through a process of discovering what are the highest values from your perspective with a child. What is an example of that? Mom could never give up her gardening. She's got to have some kind of place to be gardening. That's a high value. If they're going to assisted living or independent living, she's got to have a garden. Dad has to have a TV room, dad has to have his own space, he has a collection that he has to keep. There might be something from a religious point of view. They might need to be close to their church or their synagogue. There might be a difference in perspective concerning finances. Mom and dad have money, let's just assume they have some money that they can privately pay for their own care, and they've worked hard for that. And one perspective is they should spend their money on themselves. But mom or dad says no, no, no, we gotta leave something for our kids."

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About the Podcast

Pinnacle Placements & Seniors
Pinnacle Senior Placements helps find superior housing options for the elderly in your family by doing the right thing for the right reason every time. Pinnacle was established out of a pure desire to serve the elderly and their families.

We meet with families face to face. During the meeting, your advisor will listen carefully to gain a clear understanding of your loved one’s personality and needs.

Our team believes that your loved one is much more than a list of diagnosis, symptoms, and behaviors. Your loved one is vital and deserves to maintain his/her life quality and purpose. This is why you can be sure we will provide options to help maintain his/her dignity and quality of life. Your family member will be treated with genuine compassion and care.

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Suzanne Newman

Featuring our host, Suzanne Newman and top industry providers across the USA, together, we support, coach and assist families in finding the best independent solutions in world of aging, with a comprehensive line-up of topics covering Health & Wellness, Life Changes, Living Options, and Money & Law.